I was supposed to post this story on last weekend but I’m too lazy to draft anything even though I already edited pictures for this post. Before October is about to end which is just few more days. Hmm.. road to 50 days!

Last week was my 25th birthday and typically there will be no cake no present yet I still got wishes and good prayers from my beloved family and friends. That’s the most beautiful things in my life, good prayers from my loved one. Thank you for the wishes and prayers! Love you guys much!

I miss it the most on my 23rd birthday, my fiancé gave me a surprise when he was supposed to be at Shah Alam but he flew to Kuching for my birthday. Hmm.. so sweet of you, Sayang! I miss that moment but nowwwww hahahaha still sweet but not much. Anyway, I love you and I do know you love me too. Didn’t want anything for my birthday because I’ll get my present end of this year. Hehehehe the best present in my whole life! Woot wooott!

Nahhh.. I need duckscarf not carbonara from the little fat duck!

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When your fiancée wants to play swing and you need to stay cool…


…ice cream for your fiancée’s birthday not cake?

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Whoever invented the idea of birthday cake, I don’t need one because I only need it when I’m craving. When I’m craving means I’m sad. Why should I be sad on my birthday? Haha

25th birthday dinner with my loved one at my not-so-favourite place but of course my favourite foods.

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easy peasy

Decided to buy something to cook for dinner at Village Grocer right after I finished my work then I saw a snail or the scientific name is Cerithidea obtusa. Hmm.. been eating chicken, fish and meat this whole times lets try something else. Ahhhh.. easy peasy while I look at it and put it on the basket.

As soon as I got home I cooked my dinner and before I started to eat, I wash the snails and let them soak in a container. Then, by the time I want to add on some more foods I saw at the sink the snails looking at me. What else I can react than screaming? Whattttt? It still alive?! I thought they’re all dead! That’s why I am so confident to cook it. Oh whattt? My God, they’re all moving in the container. Arghhh! I texted my family and asked how to make the snails dead. Urghhh.. they’re laughing at me then my Emak calls me. “Aaa.. just touch them, they’ll afraid with you and hide in their shell. I cut their shells then you boil them. Easy! How to marry if you can’t cook this?” “Urghhh.. I never thought it could be hard.” Luckily my brain still working and suggest I should pour them with boiled water. Aaaa… I asked my housemate to check whether the snails is still alive or already dead. Luckily they’re dead and I boiled them again for 20 minutes just to make sure not a single snail is alive.

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Hmm.. I told my fiancé and warned him not to request me to cook snails in future. “I don’t eat snails.” he replied me. Fuhhh! Good one, Sayang.

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Tadaaa! Snails for lunch! Only manage to cook this after 2 days, let them out from my memory then can eat them. Hohoho! Do you guys eat snails? It’s so yummy if you didn’t see them alive. Trust me! Hahaha

black card

*scroll instagram feeds*


As soon as I saw this post, I texted Yana (my fiancé’s sister) about this and asked what card she has. Yeay! Luckily, hers was black! Then, I told my colleague about this sale and she also has a Sephora black card. It’s black so I considered it as black member and I cancelled my plan to borrow Yana’s card. I’m still white haven’t buy anything since last year from Sephora. Duhh.. I can afford to buy the discount price only instead original price.

I told my fiancé about this and he said “buy lah”, oh my is this for real? So excited! He always asked me when will I buy my make up, I answered “I’m waiting for Sephora sale.” Hahaha now it’s time, let’s go make up hunting!

Today is the day, my target is to buy eyes shadow palette and lipsticks. But, need to calculate back my money before I am mad enough to spend all of it. I went to Sephora store at Avenue K, but what I want is sold out! As if I will know there will be out of stock during this sale. Nahhh.. no worry still got another nearby Sephora store at Suria Klcc. Tadaaa! Stock is available and the only thing I need to worry right now is a long queue in front of cashiers. Just wait lah, Zizi.

Upon counter the salesgirl said “This sale is only for Black member but yours is White.” Oh my god! The card itself is physically black but it’s not. Duhhh.. grab my phone and try to reach Yana asking her member card. But before that we asked girl at the other counter to give her member id. Hmm.. what a day! Waiting for a long queue, end up with a wrong member card. Hahaha! Nevermind, got my new eyes shadow palette and still need to figure out the need of Tarte lip paint.

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Sayang, I already bought the make up you frequently asked before. Wohoo!

soon, very soon

“I just need to separate RmX,xxx.xx for monthly expenses once we got married.” my fiancé explained to me while I finishing my Gcb burger. “How much you’ll give me later? Whoaa! You give me some extra money and I have my own salary” I just want to tease him “Rm100.00 monthly for you.” “Not enough!” “Ehh.. you’re not the one who will decide.” “Rm100.00 then you do your own laundry.” “Alright then but you still need to cook for me.” “No, Rm100.00 only right? You cook for yourself and do everything on your own.” “Ok, my salary is all yours.” Hahaha! I swear it’s only a stupid conversation between both of us, not even a serious conversation. Well, who am I want to decide how much he needs to give me money in future. I just hope he can be the best husband in which he will be fully responsible to me, his family and our future childrens.

Most from the wedding list already been ticked and what left are our registration wedding form, decoration for wedding gift exchange, wedding card, fitting and urghhhh still got things to be done. Duhhh.. but everything is in order and I wish no problem will arise during my wedding. Amin! I hope so. Hmm.. I texted my Emak about my gamophobia and she told me “Marriage is the same with dating but with rules and regulation. Don’t fight in front of others, try to compromise and don’t let everyone knows about your problems.”

Hmm.. everything will be just fine, Zizi. Don’t let pre-marital syndrome kills your excitement. Keep calm and be the happiest bride soon! Hee.. Sayang, three months left! Are you ready?

first date

I still remember our first date on 2009, we went to watch Transformers: Revenge of the fallen and to be honest I still don’t get it. I just watched and nagged on what it’s all about. Duhhh.. worst movie I’ve ever seen but I love Transformers: Age of Extinction. The best!

People says “The longer the relationship, the bored you guys will be.” Nahhh.. not that bored it’s just sometimes we don’t know where to go or what to do. The idea for a great date is rarely pop up in our mind, unplanned is usually the best. This year is our first year not to have a typical date like every year before. Watch movie, eat and stare at each other. Hmm.. not anymore! I skip to watch Kingsman 2 and decided to play bowling with my fiancé. I miss bowling and last time I played bowling with my sisters I couldn’t remember when was it. 2013? Hmm.. Luckily, he was agreed or else we were going to have our typical movie date. Boreddd.. *yawn* ready to strike, Zizi? Hehe

I just got one strike meanwhile he got 2 strikes. I was looking for a yellow ball like I used in Kuching before but I can’t found it here. Nevermind just take any ball and let’s bowl! Woot woottt! Should have played 2 games but we already spent money at Dip n Dip before the game. Hmm.. a chocolate crepe costs Rm24? Wowww! But worth it and taste so yummy and he nagged “Better eat at Mc Donalds.” Sayang, once in a blue moon ok?

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First bowling date with Mizan, checked!

plot twist

Staring at my chocolate indulgence cake and thinking about my Emak who is going back home tomorrow. Hmm.. I don’t want her to go back! Stay here with me please. Almost a week with my Emak here with her sister, without their husband. Duhhh.. they have to attend my cousin’s wedding in Shah Alam. Emak, don’t leave me. I want to stay with you everyday.

She told me before “You’re about to get married soon, don’t you feel sad?” and I was like why do I have to be sad? But I don’t answered her like that. Never thought it will be this hard to step into new life. Hmm.. I bet I will cry out loud on my solemnization day. Haha

On Friday’s night, I went to Shah Alam for family gathering. My Emak’s side which I never been closed with. Everything changed! Ohhh.. am I in someone’s plot twist of life? Like in a movie you can see a nerdy become so beautiful, that’s one of an example how I felt that night. But it’s not about me but about my Emak’s family. Everyone has changed! Whoaaa.. What I mean is they become someone whom I didn’t expect them to be.

We can’t predict on someone’s future because someday it’ll be twisted. Ohh.. hard for me to explain. No one can label themself as a good person, only others can tell if they are good or not. Not because of the judgment but the reality. You can say all people does is judging but some is the truth. Judgment but the truth which we basically avoid to accept it. Some people proudly felt they are good enough but forgot about their lacks.

I hate it when people act like an angel but the reality they are evil than devil. Eee.. their heart are cruel than devil. Cruel but they tend to be 24/7 good like no one else is better than them. May Allah bless your life. I am not even a good person but what I do is mind my own business and be happy with my life. The moment you proudly compare your good life with someone who has worse, Allah will pay it back to you.

Don’t forget to look back at your lackness before you start to be proud with your goodness. Bye, need to take some picture at Guess shop. Baby wants one for her.



I felt heartache when I wanted to sell my duckscarf but my sisters scolded me. I bet they might think I’m broke and desperate. Duhhh.. I just want a new duckscarf and let go my current scarf. I let those scarves in boxes on the shelf and they started to extinct from me slowly. Same goes with my handbags, I left them below my make up desk and started their extinction from last year. I have no idea why did I bought them and ohhh all of my sandals I bought from bargain sale. I’m just wearing fews of them daily and the rest just quietly stay on the shoes rack. Duhh.. why Zizi, why? You don’t need them, told you it’s just a part of my wants. My fiancé knows me better, he said I will not used those scarf in future. Yuppp!

Ohh, new iPhone already launched and I give zero f*ck about it. Currently, I have a new interest, I need fujifilm camera! But! My parents ignored my wants. I stopped my interest in iPhone just to buy a camera which has better features than iPhone’s. Hmmm… can do nothing but to just wait for a miracle. Since I already got my wedding gift from my parents (yup, 3 months earlier from my wedding day). So, there’s nothing left for me to hope those fujifilm be mine. Will never be mine.

Aaaaa.. please, Zizi! Things like that is just temporary in this life. What left is our memories and deeds. No one will remember what you have or do. Let’s just focus on real life, no more hoping that your parent will grant your wish. You’re an adult now soon to be a wife. Hmm… dear Emak and Bapak, I still need you guys in my life. *weeping* I think I’m still not ready to be a wife. I’m scare of this real life. Oh Allah, I hope everything will be smooth and just fine. I leave the rest to You now.

in between

If every single person who is getting married feels like I feel, I bet they must cry a lot even in silence. Hmm.. pre-marital syndrome is hard to resist. Some prefer to hide and some will show it in their own ways.

I’m on a phase I don’t want to leave my beloved family and I want to be with my fiancé. Duhhh.. why this is happening? Haha ok enough, I don’t want to nag tonight. Ok move on, now I am laying next to my clingy brother Rifqi Darmish (6 years old in case you’re curious) who has been sleeping with me since the day I came home last week. Yesterday was our Sibling Day out, our parents check in at Merdeka Palace Hotel for their honeymoon. Naahhh.. not honeymoon, they just want to spend their own time and need some space. Typically, Rifqi will choose to be with me instead with my parents. I bet he’s confused that I am his mother. In the cinema hall, few minutes left for the movie to end Rifqi decided to cry because he wanted to pee. I asked him to hold it but he can’t then I (with my curiousity for the ending) left the hall and went to the toilet. He put a big smile and I try not to scold him and went back to the hall but the movie has ended. Hmm.. just patiently asked my other siblings about the ending of the movie. Aaaa Rifqi, why Rifqi?

Nevermind, I’ve learnt to control my emotion on how to handle children for future use. Hmm.. no matter what, I still love you so much Rifqi Darmish. Aaaa.. I don’t want to go back to Kuala Lumpur but I miss my fiancé. Can we just stay in Kuching after we got married, Sayang? Stuck in between to live with my family and fiancé until the end of my life. I choose both! Weep!

sleep late


This hashtag is soon to be used and I am  getting so stress day by day. Aaahhhhh…. trying to act cool but I can’t! Oh my, oh my! 17 days left to count 100 days from the day of mz wedding. Like seriously? Is this a dream or what?

Promise not to blog about my wedding but tonight can be accepted. Need to confess in this blog as my reminisce in future. Hmm.. I sigh and think too much, like every single part of the upcoming event can stress me out. Duhh.. it’s just a small matter but I just don’t want to regret it in the future.

Last month I was so stressed about my wedding dais now I am worrying about photographer. There’s one photographer whom I was about to book him but he advised me “you need to get familiar with your photographer’s background first.” I want to thank him for the advise because I thought any photographer can take a great picture but the moment I scroll their instagram’s account, oh my it’s true that I need to get familiar with their background first. Not all photographer is good enough to capture the moment and ohh since I am a VSCO user for ages, yuppp some photographer lacks in editing. Some edit too much contrast, some even edit less saturation and etc. Which photographer should I hire? Hmm.. how can this thing can make someone so stress?

Duhhh.. another month to sleep late at night and think about my wedding preparation. It’s 2.28 am and I still couln’t sleep. Hmm… nervous breakdown!

E meet F

Never have I ever been in my bestfriend’s wedding since I finished my high school. Like an actual wedding of whom I called a bestfriend. This month, my bestfriend tied the knot on 26th August 2017. We’ve been friend since secondary high school when we’re 15 and still young enough to talk about lovey dovey. Yeahh.. we had boyfriend in secondary high school and talked about them. Dear future son and daughter of mine, you better study hard in your school and do not talk about love. Ok? You’re too young and just cherish your moment as teenagers not to worry about breakup.

Last Saturday, I took first flight from Kuala Lumpur to Kuching and directly went to solemnization between Fiffy and Ee but failed to make it in time. I regret myself not applied my leave from Friday which I missed Fiffy’s henna night. Nevermind, things happen for a reason and I could not do anything but to go with a flow. The moment I arrived at her home, I still could not believe that she’s a married woman now. Mrs not a Ms anymore. Hmm.. so that’s how it feels when your bestfriend is getting married. You still can’t accept the fact that she’s married. I thought they’re just playing on the dais. Haha

Then, on Wednesday we went to her reception at Kuching Park Hotel. Still. Could. Not. Believe. That. She. Is. Married. Hmmm.. still the same Fiffy just with a husband now. Ohh.. she’s the first one to tied the knot among us. And next to be followed by? Tadaaaa.. just wait!

Lucky that we managed to gather a complete us on Fiffy’s big day even I missed it. But also can lah since it’s so hard to make it a complete six. Hmm.. We’re an adult now, I thought we’re still teenagers.

Anyway, congratulation to Fiffy and Ee for your wedding. Hope you’ll have your own mini version in a near future and may Allah bless your marriage. When E meet F, his first love whom now has became his last one. Ahhh so sweet!

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